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Starting the Night You Won't Remember

• Barbarian Guard: Oi, whaddya want?
• Player: I want to come through this gate.
• Guard: Barbarians only. Are you a barbarian? You don't look like one.
  • Hmm, yep you've got me there.
    • (Dialogue ends)
  • Looks can be deceiving, I am in fact a barbarian.
    • Guard: If you're a barbarian you need to be able to drink like one. We barbarians like a good drink. I have the perfect challenge for you: The Alfred Grimhand Barcrawl! First completed by Alfred Grimhand.
    • The guard hands you a Barcrawl card.
    • Guard: Take that to each of the bars named on it. The bartenders will know what it means. We're kinda well known. They'll give you the strongest drink and sign your card. When you've done all that, we'll be happy to let you in.
    • Player: I want some money.
    • Guard: Do I look like a bank to you?

If you lose your card:

• Guard: So how's the Barcrawl coming along?
• Player: I've lost my barcrawl care …
• Guard: What are you like? You're gonna have to start all over now.
• The guard hands you a Barcrawl card

If you're not drunk enough:

• Guard: So how's the Barcrawl coming along?
• Player: I haven't finished it yet.
• Guard: Well come back when you have, you lightweight.

If you can't afford any drinks during the course of the bar crawl:

• Player: Sorry, I don't have x coins at the moment.

Dragon Inn

• Bartender: What can I get you?
• Player: What's on the menu?
• Bartender: Dragon Bitter and Greenman's Ale, oh and some cheap beer.
  • Player: I'll give it a miss I think.
    • Bartender: Come back when you're a little thirstier.
  • Player: I'll try the Dragon Bitter.
    • Bartender: Ok, that'll be two coins.
    • You buy a pint of Dragon Bitter.
  • Player: - Can I have some Greenmans' Ale?
    • Bartender: Ok, that'll be ten coins.
    • You buy a pint of Greenman's Ale.
  • Player: I'm doing the Alfred Grimhand's Barcrawl (must have card in your inventory for this)
    • Bartender: I suppose you'll be wanting some Fire Brandy. That'll cost you 12 coins.
    • The bartender hands you a small glass and sets light to the contents.
    • You blow out the flame and drink it.
    • Your vision blurs and you stagger slightly.
    • You can just about make out the bartender signing your barcrawl card.
  • Player: One cheap beer please!
    • Bartender: That'll be 2 gold coins please.
    • You buy a pint of cheap beer.
• Bartender: Have a super day!

Blurberry's Bar

• Barman: Good day to you. What can I get you to drink?
  • Player: I'm trying to do Alfred Grimhand's barcrawl. (card must be in inventory)
    • Barman: Oh, another silly human come to have his/her mind melted? You should take that barcrawl card to Blurberry – he always likes to serve the Fire Toad Blast himself!
    • Player: Um … thanks?!
  • Player: What do you have?
    • Barman: Here, take a look at our menu. (opens shop)
  • Player: Nothing thanks.
    • Barman: Okay, take it easy.
  • Player: Can I buy some ingredients?
    • Player: I was wanting to buy a cocktail ingredient actually.
    • Barman: Sure thing, what did you want? (opens shop)
• Player: I'm doing the Alfred Grimhand's Barcrawl.
• Blurberry: Ah, yo've come to the best stop on your list! I'll give you my famous Fire Toad Blast! It'll cost you 10 coins.
• Your mouth and throat burn as you gulp it down.
• Blurberry signs your card.

Forester's Arms

• Bartender: Good morning, what would you like?
  • Player: What do you have?
    • Bartender: Well we have beer, or if you want some food, we have our home made stew and meat pies.
      • Beer Please
        • (Repeats below)
      • I'll try the meat pie.
        • Bartender: Ok, that'll be 16 coins.
        • You buy a nice hot meat pie.
      • Could I have some stew please?
        • Bartender: A bowl of stew, that'll be 20 coins please.
        • You buy a bowl of home made stew.
      • I don't want anything thanks. (ends dialogue)
  • Beer Please.
    • Bartender: One beer coming up. Ok, that'll be two coins.
    • You buy a pint of beer.
  • I'm doing the Alfred Grimhand's Barcrawl. (must have card in inventory)
    • Bartender: Oh you're a barbarian then. Now which of these barrels contained the Liverbane Ale? That'll be 18 coins please.
    • The bartender gives you a glass of Liverbane Ale.
    • You gulp it down.
    • The room seems to be swaying.
    • The bartender scrawls his signature on your card.
  • I don't really want anything thanks. (ends dialogue)

Flying Horse Inn

• Bartender: Would you like to buy a drink?
• Player: What do you serve?
• Bartender: Beer!
  • Player: I'll have a beer then.
    • Bartender: Ok, that'll be two coins.
    • You buy a pint of beer.
  • Player: I'll not have anything then. (ends dialogue)
  • Player: I'm doing the Alfred Grimhand's Barcrawl. (card must be in inventory)
    • Bartender: Fancy a bit of Heart Stopper then do you? I'll only be 8 coins.
    • The bartender hands you a shot of Heart Stopper.
    • You grimace and drink it.
    • You clutch your chest.
    • Through your tears you see the bartender …
    • signing your barcrawl card.

Dead Man's Chest

• Bartender: Yohoho me hearty would would you like to drink?
  • Player: Nothing, thank you. (ends dialogue)
  • Player: A pint of Grog please.
    • Bartender: One grog coming right up, that'll be three coins.
    • You buy a pint of Grog.
  • A bottle of rum please.
    • Bartender: That'll be 27 coins.
    • You buy a bottle of rum.
  • Player: I'm doing Alfred Grimhand's Barcrawl. (card must be in inventory)
    • Bartender: Haha time to be breaking out the old Supergrog. That'll be 15 coins please.
    • The bartender serves you a glass of strange thick dark liquid.
    • You wince and drink it.
    • You stagger backwards.
    • You see 2 bartenders signing 2 barcrawl cards.

Karamja Spirits Bar

• Zambo: Hey, are you wanting to try some of my fine wines and spirits? All brewed locally on Karamja.
  • Player: Yes, please. (opens store shop)
  • Player: No, thank you. (ends dialogue)
  • Player: I'm doing Alfred Grimhand's Barcrawl. (card must be in inventory)
    • Zambo: Ah, you'll be wanting some Ape Bite Liqueur, then. It's got a lovely banana taste and it'll only cost you 7 coins.
    • You buy some Ape Bite Liqueuer.
    • You swirl it around and swallow it.
    • Zambo signs your card.
    • Player: Mmmmm, dat was luverly …

Rusty Anchor Inn

• Player: Good day to you!
• Bartender: Hello there!
  • Player: I'm doing Alfred Grimhand's Barcrawl. (card must be in inventory)
    • Bartender: Are you sure? You look a bit skinny for that.
    • Player: Just give me whatever I need to drink here.
    • Bartender: Okay, one Black Skull Ale coming up. Eight coins, please.
    • You buy a Black Skull Ale …
      Your vision blurs.
      The bartender signs your card.
    • Player: Hiccup!
  • Player: Could I buy a beer, please?
    • Bartender: Sure, that will be 2 gold coins, please.
  • Player: Okay, here you go.
    • You buy a pint of beer.
  • Player: Bye, then.
    • Bartender: Come back soon!

Rising Sun Inn

• Emily, Kaylee, or Tina: Hi! What can I get you?
  • Player: What ales are you serving?
    • Barmaids: Well, we've got Asgarnian Ale, Wizard's Mind Bomb and Dwarven Stout, all for only 3 coins.
      • Player: Ones Asgarnian Ale, please.
        • You buy an Asgarnian Ale.
        • Player: Thanks, barmaid.
      • Player: I'll try the Mind Bomb.
        • You buy a Mind Bomb.
        • Player: Thanks, barmaid.
      • Player: Can I have a Dwarven Stout?
        • You buy a Dwarven Stout.
        • Player: Thanks, barmaid.
      • Player: I don't feel like any of those. (ends dialogue)
  • Player: I'm doing Alfred Grimhand's barcrawl. (must have card in inventory)
    • Barmaid: Heehee, this'll be fun! You;ll be after our Hand of Death cocktail then. Lots of expensive parts to the cocktail, though, so it will cost you 70 coins.
    • You buy a Hand of Death cocktail.
      You drink the cocktail.
      You stumble around the room.
      The barmaid giggles.
    • The barmaid signs your card.

Blue Moon Inn

• Bartender: What can I do yer for?
  • Player: A glass of your finest ale please.
    • Bartender: No problemo. That'll be 2 coins.
    • You buy a pint of beer.
  • Player: Can you recommend where and adventurer might make his fortune?
    • (not alcohol related)
  • Player: Do you know where I can get some good equipment?
    • (not alcohol related)
  • Player: I'm doing Alfred Grimhand's Barcrawl. (card must be in inventory)
    • Bartender: Oh no not another of you guys. These barbarian barcrawls cause too much damage to my bar. You're going to have to pay 50 gold for the Uncle Humphrey's Gutrot.
    • You buy some Uncle Humphrey's Gutrot.
      You drink the Uncle Humphrey's Gutrot.
      Your insides feel terrible.
    • The bartender signs your card.
    • Player: Blearrgh!

Jolly Boar Inn

• Bartender: Can I help you?
  • I'll have a beer please.
    • Player: I'll have a pint of beer please.
    • Bartender: Ok, that'll be 2 coins please.
    • You buy a pint of beer.
  • Player: Any hints where I can go adventuring?
    • (not alcohol related)
  • Player: Heard any good gossip?
    • (not alcohol related)
  • Player: I'm doing Alfred Grimhands Barcrawl. (card must be in inventory)
    • Bartender: Ah, there seems to be a fair few doing that one these days. My supply of Old Suspiciouse is starting to run low, it'll cost you 10 coins.
    • You buy a pint of Old Suspiciouse.
      You gulp it down.
      Your head is spinning.
    • The bartender sings your card.
    • Player: Thanksh very mush …

I'm Not as Think as you Drunk I am ... OK ... maybe I am ...

If you try to read your barcrawl card:

• You are too drunk to be able to read the barcrawl card.
• Barbarian Guard: So, how's the Barcrwal coming along?
• Player: I tink I jusht 'bout done dem all … but I losht count …
• You give the card to the barbarian.
• Guard: Yep that seems fine, you can come in now. I never learned to read, but you look like you've drunk plenty.

v • d • e Bar Crawl
NPCs	Alfred Grimhand  Barbarian guard Bartenders  Blurberry  Zambo  Kaylee  Tina  Emily  Blue Moon Inn  Dead Man's Chest  Dragon Inn  The Flying Horse  Jolly Boar Inn  Rusty Anchor  Forester's Arms
Items	Barcrawl card
Locations	Barbarian Outpost Blue Moon Inn Blurberry's Bar Dead Man's Chest Dragon Inn Flying Horse Inn Forester's Arms Jolly Boar Inn Karamja Wines, Spirits, and Beers Rising Sun The Rusty Anchor
Miscellaneous	Transcript